Category Archives: Break Ups

Bottom of His Love

If you’ve never prayed your hardest, you’ll do it when hit this damn near fatal crash in the road. You’ll need the insight of something bigger than yourself because you won’t know for certain which way to go. They all want to stay here for comfort but flee for freedom from a broken dream at the same time. We all get numb to the pain of heartbreak after the same tears have been cried. Looking back, he lied and she lied, and the relationship was built on bitter truths and pretty false promises. The bond wasn’t broken; the problem was that it was never built strong enough in the first place, it was never truly solid. And at the second trace, she replayed everything in her head. She stayed in for three days and cried herself to sleep a hundred times in her bed. She’ll give up on everything that includes you and light this fairytale on fire because it wasn’t enough to burn through your head; it only got her too caught up. She sits in silence as there is madness in her head, and just when she thought the tears had ceased, she fell  to her knees and they rained harder instead. Her music doesn’t do her any good at this phase of writing the wrongs, she doesn’t even have the courage to listen to a single r&b song.  She’s such a good girl but the pain works like thorns and she says, “I’d rather be bad.” Scrolling down her music, give me something harsh, I want cruelty, something to match these scars. She plays rock and some sick rap, some raunchy shit, and with love’s death in her head she fades back to black with dread. She could trade crack rock for love, it would be the same thing, bring the same pain, fuck you up in the same damn way. She looked at the ground, staring just to find strength in her soul and honesty in her intentions, all she found was a thousand things she forgot to mention. She pushed herself away from him and in this black hole she got shoved. And she hopes for the sake of fairness, one day he too hits the bottom of his love.

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Her Single Declaration

I’m a lover at heart, and I always will be. I’ll always know that being in a strong loving relationship truly keeps me warm at night. With that said, I keep thinking of this single life as a part time job I’ll have to work in order to get me to where I want to be. But maybe it’s something I must own, a situation I need to live through and complete before I’ll ever be ready to believe in love with such a giving heart as I once did. I don’t want to rush into emotions thinking I got lucky when truthfully I’m embracing something that is helping me to avoid the dreadful period of ‘no significant other’. I’ve always been in relationships, but suddenly I’ve been taken by a storm that caused me to require an emotional separation from love in that sense.

I gave everything that a woman could possibly give of herself and when you do that and it still doesn’t measure up to forever, it has a way of fucking shit up in your heart and hopes, and in your mind as well. You start to questions things, people, and intentions; everything becomes suspect to possibly bringing you pain again. When you believe in something or someone so much and then reality hits that your fairytale was just as distorted and downhill as the next persons, you start to see that sometimes even the best love story’s have their endings.  What the hell happened to the love I used to brag about? I took so much pride in that relationship truly thinking it was better than anyone else’s.  You look back and see the definition of what you called love. You start to remember the gut feelings that haunted you, but even more you recall sweeping them aside with high hopes and wishful thinking.

Let’s face it, we can all fall victim to heartbreak, we put our trust and understanding in the hands of another imperfect human. Half the time we’re unaware of what their internal battles are therefore often times there’s a lot that we don’t see ourselves getting into. But that’s life and you need love to live a full one. Rest assured that eventually you’ll heal and  you’ll take that risk again one day because you’d rather put your heart on the edge knowing the cost you could pay because love is worth that sacred chance. That’s harder to imagine than it is to say, but I truly believe that one day I and every other single man or woman I know will feel that way. For every heart that’s born, there’s another heart for it to live happily and confidently with. That’s something beautiful to look towards, and you know it’s out there, even when the depressed broken heart tells you otherwise.

For now, you must do the necessary and carry on. Carry yourself to the brightest future you can imagine, be successful and light the path to the destiny you’ve always dreamed of. Take this chance to paint your future out just how you want it without the concern of fitting someone else’s lifestyle as well. BE SINGLE AND OWN IT TO THE FULLEST. Love will make its way back around when the time is undeniably right, and the heart has drastically healed. You’ll be a better person by that time, and you’ll have a lot more love to give. For now, be your own special someone, and be true to yourself. Above everything, follow your heart, trust your voice and go forth with your life knowing that God is working it all out for you. You no longer have to look for Mr. or Ms. Right, just embrace people for who they are and enjoy them without looking for a lasting love in their eyes. Focus on your bright future, let your heart be the driving force inside of you and do it for the first time like you’ve never done it before. Be bold and claim the passions you have for life outside of romance. Believe it or not there’s more that drives you than just the heart of a hopeless romantic with a head full of fairytales. There’s more that you have to offer this world, more that you have to offer yourself, so do your soul searching and find that other beautiful person you’ve forgotten about for so long now, DO YOU!

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