Tag Archives: women

The Essence of a Woman’s Love

The voice and mind of a woman is superb and powerful. Let’s not bury it with an aggravated attempt at a man’s conscious. I used to try to “act like a lady and think like a man” but I realized that thinking like a man is just a waste of a woman. It’s wiser and much more beneficial to study a man’s behavior and communicate to find his true desires and love him with the fruits of his hearts confessions. To love a man and receive the best of his love in return takes a deeper approach than mimicking his mindset. Don’t rob a man of the love that’s rooted from a woman’s essence. Don’t try to adopt his demeanor, let a man be the man, find the voice of your womanhood and play your phenomenal role as a woman. Speak your mind after learning his. Give him the space he desires in order to have a clear head, and be patient while loving him. In this, the love that he’s always wanted will be revealed through you. Sacrifice the selfish ways that bring out that desperate lover and love him the way he wants to be loved, because at the end of it all thats what women want as well. Give him that same respect you demand and you’ll discover a man that is proud and anxious to love you with the best of who he is and every ounce of passion that he has to offer. That’s what we’ve wanted so bad for so long, and it’s not impossible to find, but half the search is within the love we possess and put forth.  So love him in a way that he’s shown will work, in a way in which neither heart is left in the dirt and he’ll love you in return for all that you’re worth.

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Last Lovers Rhapsody

Maybe maybe was a never and forever was a curse. All the time we spent together put us on the edge of something worse. We planned a future and planned to stay close, damn the day if the Lord ever saw the love as a hoax. We tried once it didn’t work, we tried twice it only hurt. Maybe passion brings pretty pain and lust brought delicious dirt. He tasted me and his tongue went numb from the work, I loved it so much I put the favor in reverse. Top or bottom, he went low I got high, he put the crown somewhere inside, but since that day my heart’s been paralyzed.

We made love, good grub type of love. Other days was it just sex or just friends with a man that I put on a pedal stool of hope, but it tips and it turns. Some people make a mark too hard to casually return and the selfish heart will always crave more of loves fire, and more of what burns.

But I used to bet my heart on the end of this world that you wouldn’t be getting married unless I would be the girl. I just couldn’t fathom to say I do to another, I would have gone further to claim my love than those thoughts could unveil. But that was before I saw all the wretched truths that this story would entail. With a line of broken promises and priorities for other things you cared, I would be one that you failed.

That’s just what makes you the man of a destiny that rules the depths of destruction in every kinky curl. My bad hair days are rooted from lack of sleep as my mind is stuck in day dreams and damned from the peaceful resting realm. Damn damn, I wonder if his hearts been overwhelmed.

But I damned you and I damned us, and I swore to future that my soul was determined and my mind wouldn’t budge. But that’s love, and the heart battles the mind as the constant war of all mankind. But would you save me if I called you and said that my world was on the edge, and all I needed was for you to rock it so that I wouldn’t fall through. I mean would that call even go through, if I remember right you never answered enough back when I was with you. I was only angry
because I was with you, right or wrong, really with you, in everything I did my heart and my
soul was equipped for that battle because I was with you…

And know in everything I speak, everything I spoke when I left you with half a piece of who you’ve been and half a piece of me, I still had dreams. Even a broken hearted scholar couldn’t recognize the shattered pieces you still tend to bring.

But you say you loved me the most, even after the math added, subtracted and divided up
our toasts, it all equaled up to the one that had our hearts clouded by the smoke. I took pride in the story, once in a lifetime a fairytale came true for both.

That took years to build and just months to end. So I gave up and then you gave in, you didn’t beg me stay, Our demise was ready to begin.  If I would have never called that shot, you’d still be holding on for the sake of love alone, even if all that made it up was gone. The friendship, dead. The promises, faded. The trust, that’s some shit that’s always been jaded. The loyalty is a jagged line that’s faded due to lust crimes. And I tried to read your mind only because I couldn’t speak mine. Our communication skills went from bad to the worst of all time. I guess we’ll both be single and on the mingle until our hearts heal themselves enough to fix this frame of mind. In solitude and silence our pride sets aside and our hearts bleed the truth that we could never find.

It all came down to a love that was true even with the lies, it was so right even when it was wrong half the time. I could see through your soul and disregard every love crime and be the proof to those that challenge the truth that love is blind.

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Although she is nothing like you or I or even the next girl, her story could very well feature the same villains…that woman may be the invisible beauty that fights these battles too.

I believe on average one out of every five women will go through hell and back by the age of twenty seven without a hint of notification to closest people surrounding her. I’ve been blessed to have intellectual encounters with a wide variety of women. Some have been lovers, some have had a hate for love, some were teachers others could never be taught, every one of them have been so different from the next. Unfortunately the only single line they all walked on was that of abuse. They have all battled with respect from men physical and mental, emotional as well as sexual abuse. These encounters came from the hands of boyfriends, coworkers, professionals, fathers, strangers, even family friends. These women have been mocked, slammed, punched, left to die, and punished for their dignity.

Some women choose to go about their relations only involving themselves when they are the dominant ones in the relationship, only because the last time she let a man be in control, she ended up with a fist in her face and caught up with the man she swore she knew well enough. Some of these women have been raped until the scars can’t be disguised, beaten bad enough to convince themselves life is better off if they cover it up and never tell a soul. People have the nerve to wonder why so many women are bougie, why they seem to constantly turn their nose up at men, some even turn their nose up at other women due to the involvement they’ve seen women play in abuse on other women. Many men are clueless to this, they have no idea that the attitude has less to do with material things and more to do with protection, this is one of many ways that women try to shield themselves from dangerous characters they’ve met in the past. I’ve heard women say they feel life would be easier if they took on the role as a hoe, one woman in particular has told me, ” I hear these bastards won’t even fight you if you don’t put up one.” That same middle aged woman went on to say, “I’ll swallow my pride and give it up if it spares me getting my ass whooped.” If you saw this captivating woman, you would never imagine that those were her true thoughts.

So many women fear that lustful gaze of men, only because she’s seen that gaze before. She recalls the black deep alleys that the source of that gaze pushed her into, she recalls quickly jetting back to a pathway that had vanished so quickly, only to be twisted back around into the controlling grasp of a predator. Most of all she remembers that the screams were never heard, she remembers realizing that protection from the crime at that point was out of the question. These women are never fully able to forget the feeling of numbness, and as darkness faded and she laid lifeless seeing the skies shut down before her, this is when she realized that regardless of age, her youthful, innocent spirit will never again breathe the breaths of simplicity, and know that carefree soul as she once did, once a life is corrupted by crime it’s never truly the same.

Now her life is walked on guard, constantly. She doesn’t leave her home without protection, even inside of her home, she now laces it with weapons, ready to be brought out of the dark because she feels, “How else am I going to be guaranteed security?”—these women live under a vow to NEVER go again without protection.

Essence recently published an article discussing the current case of Nafissatou Diallo, whom has come to the public with rape allegations against the high profile Dominique Strauss-Kahn (former Head of International Monetary Fund). Essence went on to release a statistic that came from current studies saying that one in every four black women will be raped in her lifetime, and 7% of black women will report the crime, the average in other races came to 42% of sexual assaults reported. Im not sure why as a society of women we don’t confide in anyone about these encounters. Some women used to and eventually gave it up, some still do. Many women come to feel, at least for herself, that no one on this earth is promised to protect her, it’s her own battle. After a while some women feel that they’ve fought the battles too hard, and fought to gain her dignity back too hard to be humiliated by reaping sympathy from crying out a tragedy to someone. In circumstances like these, for this woman, sympathy can viewed as a pathetic and weak emotion, which in understanding does nothing for a woman who has walked these retched roads.

So you really want to make a difference to a woman who has told you of the disrespect she gets from men? (don’t be foolish enough to assume that the disrespect is all she knows, majority of the time, that’s all she feels comfortable with exposing.) As you are together, wherever it may be, PROTECT her, be attentive of her surroundings, of course without being controlling, GUARD her with your presence. Give her at least the insight that a hero beyond herself may possibly exist. So yes, I agree women are sometimes guarded, bougie, and highly emotional creatures, as anyone who has walked these roads would be. It’s this woman still having herself at the end of every day that gives her the pride and will to exhale and truly love and embrace herself completely. After being dragged through hell, and occasionally passing by it’s alleys on earth, these women begin to respect themselves for the battles they’ve fought, admire and appreciate every other woman as well regardless of race, religion, size, sexual orientation ect. knowing that although she is nothing like you or I or even the next girl, her story could very well feature the same villains…that woman may be the invisible beauty that fights these battles too.

Woman’s War

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Women are considered deep as no one can discover the bottom of them, and no woman is truly shallow as what deepens her is simply unknown.

Her trials lead her to a new found calling, one that her and her Upmost High Father agree on, that is the road we all attempt to get back on. With every ounce of confidence and beauty we still guard ourselves from the dangers we’ve come to know. We learn ourselves through the years and come to understand what’s good for us as well as what breaks us apart. We know that the heart and the mind are not one in the same but we do try to agree on the things that satisfy both components. Women are considered deep as no one can discover the bottom of them, and no woman is truly shallow as what deepens her is simply unknown.  I’ve never met a woman that was simple minded, only women that couldn’t find the words to express themselves and the meaning behind empty statement that left others thinking she didn’t comprehend the world surrounding her.

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The Essence of Her Strength

After every trial we face the facts, like everybody you love aint gonna stick around. And even the ones you let in may find themselves stepping out. We’re all human, different mistakes all end in the same apologies. Fellas say ‘Baby I’m sorry’, and females sit back and say ‘Nigga Please’. Some women never really pack their bags, other’s will leave him and never look back. Other situations leave everybody but her in doubt; because eventually the time comes in which if only one heart’s in it then she’ll take herself out. Even if there are no answers in response, following her heart is what she’s all about. Even if it hurts the one she loves, she does what’s best for her because deep down she puts herself first. We get our feelings hurt, swallow our pride then listen to the woman inside. She says, “Girl keep ya head up, don’t let a man take your joy or even steal your voice.” So we get back up and try it all again, sometimes without even paying him back for all the shit that he did. We forgive others because we’ll need somebody to forgive us in the end. We keep a smile, because opposites attract and we don’t want a broken hearted girl to shine through the cracks. That is until we crash, one wrong turn can just set us off track, put us right back to a place in time that never got patched. But that’s a woman, we move on even though there comes days when we cry about what didn’t last. We got our stories and we got our past, but we move ahead as if to that we’re not attached. Good or bad, happy or sad, we do it all until the end so we can say we gave all we had. She can fall flat on her face, without it being a fall from grace; dust off the tears, learn the lesson and stand tall with no shame. And still, she’ll give all she can, and just when you think she’s been defeated, she’ll do it all again.

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